Browse quotes by author:
- "A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the ..."
- "Advertising is the most fun you can have with your clothes on. "
- "Always end the name of your child with a vowel, so that when you yell ..."
- "Anyone can dabble, but once you've made that commitment, your blood has that particular thing ..."
- "As I have discovered by examining my past, I started out as a child. Coincidentally, ..."
- "Children today know more about sex than I or my father did. "
- "Civilization had too many rules for me, so I did my best to rewrite them. "
- "Even though your kids will consistently do the exact opposite of what you're telling them ..."
- "Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope. "
- "Gray hair is God's graffiti. "
- "Human beings are the only creatures on earth that allow their children to come back ..."
- "I am certainly not an authority on love because there are no authorities on love, ..."
- "I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to ..."
- "If the new American father feels bewildered and even defeated, let him take comfort from ..."
- "In order to succeed, your desire for success should be greater than your fear of ..."
- "Let us now set forth one of the fundamental truths about marriage: the wife is ..."
- "Like everyone else who makes the mistake of getting older, I begin each day with ..."
- "Men and women belong to different species and communications between them is still in its ..."
- "My childhood should have taught me lessons for my own fatherhood, but it didn't because ..."
- "My eleven year old daughter mopes around the house all day waiting for her breasts ..."
- "No matter how calmly you try to referee, parenting will eventually produce bizarre behavior, and ..."
