Browse quotes by author:
- "At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to ..."
- "Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time. "
- "Dusting is a good example of the futility of trying to put things right. As ..."
- "Electricity is really just organized lightning. "
- "Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof ..."
- "Have you ever noticed? Anybody going slower than you is an idiot, andanyone going faster ..."
- "I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people ..."
- "I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called ..."
- "I think it would be interesting if old people got anti-Alzheimer's disease where they slowly ..."
- "I think people should be allowed to do anything they want. We haven't tried that ..."
- "I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a ..."
- "I'm always relieved when someone is delivering a eulogy and I realize I'm listening to ..."
- "I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that ..."
- "I'm not concerned about all hell breaking loose, but that a PART of hell will ..."
- "In comic strips, the person on the right always speaks first. "
- "May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house. "
- "Some people see things that are and ask, Why? Some people dream of things that ..."
- "Standing ovations have become far too commonplace. What we need are ovations where the audience ..."
- "The other night I ate at a real nice family restaurant. Every table had an ..."
- "The status quo sucks. "
- "The very existence of flame-throwers proves that some time, somewhere, someone said to themselves, You ..."
