Will Rogers quotes

And the thing about my jokes is, they don't hurt anybody. You can take 'em or leave 'em - you can say they're funny or they're terrible or they're good, or whatever, but you can just pass 'em by. But with Congress, every time they make a joke, it's a law! And every time they make a law, it's a joke!

A difference of opinion is what makes horse racing and missionaries.

A fool and his money are soon elected.

A holding company is a thing where you hand an accomplice the goods while the policeman searches you.

About all I can say for the United States Senate is that it opens with a prayer and closes with an investigation.

Advertising is the art of convincing people to spend money they don't have for something they don't need.

Alexander Hamilton started the U.S. Treasury with nothing, and that was the closest our country has ever been to being even.

All I know is just what I read in the papers, and that's an alibi for my ignorance.

America is a nation that conceives many odd inventions for getting somewhere but it can think of nothing to do once it gets there.

America is becoming so educated that ignorance will be a novelty. I will belong to the select few.

An economist's guess is liable to be as good as anybody else's.

An ignorant person is one who doesn't know what you have just found out.

An onion can make people cry but there's never been a vegetable that can make people laugh.

Ancient Rome declined because it had a Senate, now what's going to happen to us with both a House and a Senate?

Anything important is never left to the vote of the people. We only get to vote on some man; we never get to vote on what he is to do.