"It is immoral to get drunk because the headache comes after the drinking, but if the headache came first and the drunkenness afterwards, it would be moral to get drunk."

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More quotes from: Samuel Butler

• "A blind man knows he cannot see, and is glad to be led, though it ..."
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• "A man's friendships are, like his will, invalidated by marriage - but they are also ..."
• "A skilful leech is better far, than half a hundred men of war. "
• "A virtue to be serviceable must, like gold, be alloyed with some commoner, but more ..."
• "All animals, except man, know that the principal business of life is to enjoy it. "
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• "All philosophies, if you ride them home, are nonsense, but some are greater nonsense than ..."
• "All progress is based upon a universal innate desire on the part of every organism ..."
• "All truth is not to be told at all times. "
• "An apology for the devil: it must be remembered that we have heard one side ..."
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• "Because they did not see merit where they should have seen it, people, to express ..."
• "Conscience is thoroughly well-bred and soon leaves off talking to those who do not wish ..."
• "Do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Let the ..."
• "Don't learn to do, but learn in doing. Let your falls not be on a ..."
• "Dullness is so much stronger than genius because there is so much more of it, ..."
• "Eating is touch carried to the bitter end. "
• "Every man's work, whether it be literature, or music or pictures or architecture or anything ..."
• "Every one should keep a mental wastepaper basket and the older he grows the more ..."
• "Evil is like water, it abounds, is cheap, soon fouls, but runs itself clear of ..."
• "Fear is static that prevents me from hearing myself. "
• "For most men, and most circumstances, pleasure -tangible material prosperity in this world -is the ..."
• "For truth is precious and divine, too rich a pearl for carnal swine. "
• "Friendship is like money, easier made than kept. "
• "Genius is a nuisance, and it is the duty of schools and colleges to abate ..."
• "God cannot alter the past, though historians can. "
• "God was satisfied with his own work, and that is fatal. "
• "Half the vices which the world condemns most loudly have seeds of good in them ..."
• "He that complies against his will is of his own opinion still. "
• "He was born stupid, and greatly increased his birthright. "
• "Human life is as evanescent as the morning dew or a flash of lightning. "
• "I believe that more unhappiness comes from this source than from any other - I ..."

• "I do not mind lying, but I hate inaccuracy. "
• "If God wants us to do a thing, he should make his wishes sufficiently clear. ..."
• "If life must not be taken too seriously, then so neither must death. "
• "If there is any moral in Christianity, if there is anything to be learned from ..."
• "If we attend continually and promptly to the little that we can do, we shall ..."
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• "In law, nothing is certain but the expense. "
• "Is life worth living? This is a question for an embryo not for a man. "
• "It has been said that the love of money is the root of all evil. ..."
• "It is our less conscious thoughts and our less conscious actions which mainly mould our ..."
• "Let us be grateful to the mirror for revealing to us our appearance only. "
• "Life is a quarry, out of which we are to mold and chisel and complete ..."
• "Life is like playing a violin solo in public and learning the instrument as one ..."
• "Life is not an exact science, it is an art. "
• "Life is one long process of getting tired. "
• "Life is the art of drawing sufficient conclusions from insufficient premises. "
• "Logic is like the sword - those who appeal to it, shall perish by it. "
• "Look before you leap for as you sow, ye are like to reap. "
• "Lying has a kind of respect and reverence with it. We pay a person the ..."
• "Man is the only animal that can remain on friendly terms with the victims he ..."
• "Man is the only animal that laughs and has a state legislature. "
• "Marriage is distinctly and repeatedly excluded from heaven. Is this because it is thought likely ..."
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• "Natural amiableness is too often seen in company with sloth, with uselessness, with the vanity ..."
• "Neither irony or sarcasm is argument. "
• "No mistake is more common and more fatuous than appealing to logic in cases which ..."
• "Nobody shoots at Santa Claus. "
• "Oaths are but words, and words are but wind. "
• "Opinions have vested interests just as men have. "
• "Parents are the last people on earth who ought to have children. "
• "People are always good company when they are doing what they really enjoy. "
• "People in general are equally horrified at hearing the Christian religion doubted, and at seeing ..."
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• "Self-preservation is the first law of nature. "
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• "The advantage of doing one's praising for oneself is that one can lay it on ..."
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• "The Bible may be the truth, but it is not the whole truth and nothing ..."
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• "Work with some men is as besetting a sin as idleness. "