Quotation:
"At twenty a man is full of fight and hope. He wants to reform the world. When he is seventy he still wants to reform the world, but he know he can't."
More quotes from: Rodney Dangerfield
- "A girl phoned me the other day and said... Come on over, there's nobody home. ..."
- "Acting deals with very delicate emotions. It is not putting up a mask. Each time ..."
- "I came from a real tough neighborhood. I put my hand in some cement and ..."
- "I could tell that my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and ..."
- "I drink too much. The last time I gave a urine sample it had an ..."
- "I found there was only one way to look thin, hang out with fat people. "
- "I get no respect. The way my luck is running, if I was a politician ..."
- "I had plenty of pimples as a kid. One day I fell asleep in the ..."
- "I have good looking kids. Thank goodness my wife cheats on me. "
- "I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her. "
- "I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap. "
- "I looked up my family tree and found three dogs using it. "
- "I met the surgeon general - he offered me a cigarette. "
- "I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger ..."
- "I saved a girl from being attacked last night. I controlled myself. "
- "I told my dentist my teeth are going yellow. he told me to wear a ..."
- "I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - ..."
- "I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then ..."
- "I was so ugly my mother used to feed me with a sling shot. "
- "I went to a fight the other night, and a hockey game broke out. "
- "I worked in a pet store and people would ask how big I would get. "
- "I'm at the age where food has taken the place of sex in my life. ..."
- "I'm taking Viagra and drinking prune juice - I don't know if I'm coming or ..."
- "If it wasn't for pick-pockets I'd have no sex life at all. "
- "It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she ..."
- "Life is just a bowl of pits. "
- "Men who do things without being told draw the most wages. "
- "Most of the arguments to which I am party fall somewhat short of being impressive, ..."
- "My cousins gay, he went to London only to find out that Big Ben was ..."
- "My father carries around the picture of the kid who came with his wallet. "
- "My kids scotch tape worms to the sidewalk and watch the birds get hernias. "
- "My marriage is on the rocks again, yeah, my wife just broke up with her ..."
- "My mother had morning sickness after I was born. "
- "My mother never breast fed me, she told me she only liked me as a ..."
- "My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. ..."
- "My uncle's dying wish - he wanted me on his lap. He was in the ..."
- "My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met! "
- "My wife is always trying to get rid of me. The other day she told ..."
- "My wife met me at the door the other night in a sexy negligee. Unfortunately, ..."
- "My wife wants sex in the back of the car and she wants me to ..."
- "My wife was afraid of the dark... then she saw me naked and now she's ..."
- "My wife's jealousy is getting ridiculous. The other day she looked at my calendar and ..."
- "On Halloween, the parents sent their kids out looking like me. "
- "One year they asked me to be poster boy - for birth control. "
- "Some dog I got too. We call him Egypt. Because in every room he leaves ..."
- "The way my luck is running, if I was a politician I would be honest. "
- "They change the sheets every day... from one bed to another. "
- "This morning when I put on my underwear I could hear the fruit-of-the-loom guys laughing ..."
- "We sleep in separate rooms, we have dinner apart, we take separate vacations - we're ..."
- "What a dog I got, his favorite bone is in my arm. "
- "What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bee and ..."
- "When I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up. "
- "When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them. "
- "With me, nothing goes right. My psychiatrist said my wife and I should have sex ..."
- "With my wife I don't get no respect. I made a toast on her birthday ..."
- "Yeah, I know I'm ugly... I said to a bartender, 'Make me a zombie.' He ..."


