"Scientists announced that they have located the gene for alcoholism. Scientists say they found it at a party, talking way too loudly."

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• "You get whatever accomplishment you are willing to declare. "
• "A hole is nothing at all, but you can break your neck in it. "
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• "A pint of sweat will save a gallon of blood. "
• "An Englishmen thinks seated; a Frenchmen standing; an American pacing, an Irishman, afterwards. "
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• "God shows his contempt for wealth by the kind of person he selects to receive ..."
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• "If you keep your mouth shut you will never put your foot in it. "
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