"Yesterday, Arnold Schwarzenegger announced he would run for governor of California. The announcement was good news for Florida residents who now live in the second flakiest state in the country."

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• "A home-made friend wears longer than one you buy in the market. "
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• "An Englishmen thinks seated; a Frenchmen standing; an American pacing, an Irishman, afterwards. "
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• "God shows his contempt for wealth by the kind of person he selects to receive ..."
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• "If you keep your mouth shut you will never put your foot in it. "
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