Funny quotes:
- "Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils. "
By: Hector Berlioz - "Human beings are the only creatures on earth that allow their children to come back ..."
By: Bill Cosby - "What's the use of a fine house if you haven't got a tolerable planet to ..."
By: Henry David Thoreau - "If I can't see the humor in it, how am I going to be funny? "
By: Casey Affleck - "I'm always more motivated by the pain of a funny character than by what makes ..."
By: Jason Alexander - "The thing about For Better or Worse is the only thing that made me an ..."
By: Jason Alexander - "I think being funny is not anyone's first choice. "
By: Woody Allen - "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy is a form of service journalism. To be successful, ..."
By: Ted Allen - "The funny thing about Thanksgiving, or any huge meal, is that you spend 12 hours ..."
By: Ted Allen - "I had an idea of what I thought was funny. It's kind of based on ..."
By: Jennifer Aniston - "Life can be dramatic and funny all in the same day! "
By: Jennifer Aniston - "That's what I hate about a lot of comedies, when you're hitting a line or ..."
By: Jennifer Aniston - "The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds new discoveries, is ..."
By: Isaac Asimov - "It's lost on me. I can just about tell if it's got a jet engine ..."
By: David Attenborough - "My last trip was to the States, and on the way back I sat in ..."
By: David Attenborough - "I'm obsessive about the kind of melodrama of getting through the days and trying to ..."
By: Tom Baker - "Don't get me wrong, there are sometimes if I go and see a really funny ..."
By: Stephen Baldwin - "I'm not funny. What I am is brave. "
By: Lucille Ball - "There is nothing funny about Halloween. This sarcastic festival reflects, rather, an infernal demand for ..."
By: Jean Baudrillard - "I allow a lot of room for improvisation and funny stuff. I always feel planned. "
By: Michael Bay - "People have a hard time believing I'd ever want to do a small movie, but ..."
By: Michael Bay - "It's funny, I get really nervous when I audition for voiceovers. "
By: Julie Benz - "When I first started I was always known as The Girl on the Sitcom with ..."
By: Julie Benz - "Funny, nothing ever happens nowadays. "
By: Edgar Bergen - "I wasn't even 20 at the time, but it taught me something about drugs. They ..."
By: Michael Bergin - "Robert Redford used to be such a handsome man and now look at him: everything ..."
By: George Best - "If you look at the game and everything, it's not quite like looking at an ..."
By: Don Bluth - "It's great playing the far-out funny guy on Buffy, but I also like that Xander ..."
By: Nicholas Brendon - "On Buffy, I am now considered the far-out funny guy. With Psycho Beach Party, I ..."
By: Nicholas Brendon - "So, I guess playing funny Xander was more fun. "
By: Nicholas Brendon - "In the Netherlands I read the first chapter of Exquisite Corpse to an audience that ..."
By: Poppy Z. Brite - "A rich man's joke is always funny. "
By: Thomas Edward Brown - "We make everything funny, you wouldn't believe the things we laugh at. We're always laughing-people ..."
By: Emma Bunton - "I got to dress up in funny clothes and run around New Zealand with a ..."
By: Orlando Bloom
- "Ray himself is a very funny guy, hard-working, and, surprisingly . . . just a ..."
By: Peter Boyle - "Will is extremely funny. The tights, though, they were a little vulgar. I just looked ..."
By: James Caan - "There were many tough guys to play in the scripts that Warner kept assigning me. ..."
By: James Cagney - "I'm trying to (create something) that will be funny 20 years from now. "
By: Max Cannon - "It's just something that's sort of funny, sort of not. "
By: Max Cannon - "Billy Tauzin is one of the most interesting people in Washington. He is smart, funny, ..."
By: Tucker Carlson - "We didn't even think about it, you know? I used to collect laser discs, and ..."
By: Dana Carvey - "It is not funny that anything else should fall down; only that a man should ..."
By: Gilbert K. Chesterton - "The stories are all very contemporary, but Reacher is an old-West character for sure. He ..."
By: Lee Child - "The funny thing is, Dennis Miller got me back into comedy. "
By: Tommy Chong - "Susan Sontag said something really funny... she said to find out that all her art ..."
By: Chuck Close - "I've never really understood that. It's a funny thing; people sometimes accuse us of condescending ..."
By: Joel Coen - "It's a funny thing because you look at the careers of other filmmakers, and you ..."
By: Joel Coen - "I have lots of images of my father. One of them is cooking a tin ..."
By: Robbie Coltrane - "My son's the same, he's terribly funny. It's a wonderful power to have. It's also ..."
By: Robbie Coltrane - "It's funny looking at yourself. You know how it is when you look back at ..."
By: Jennifer Connelly - "Nowadays they have 12 directors and 15 producers and 30 writers. And all the writers ..."
By: Tim Conway - "I could not take the brunt of standing in the light of my own work. ..."
By: Billy Corgan - "There is hope for the future because God has a sense of humor and we ..."
By: Bill Cosby - "I love doing stuff with Todd Barry and Jon Benjamin. We give the stage to ..."
By: David Cross - "I'll think of the idea and then I'll write something down, then within that there ..."
By: David Cross - "It's not about trying to be funny all the time. It's more of a document ..."
By: David Cross - "There are really funny alternative comics and really funny straight comics who write and perform ..."
By: David Cross - "And so they were real funny, hip, Lester Young, Roy Eldridge, Louie Armstrong, all these ..."
By: Billy Crystal - "Shrek is a fantastic fable, really funny and it's great too. "
By: Billy Crystal - "No, I always wanted to be a singer. It was kind of funny that I ..."
By: Tia Carrere - "It's kind of weird because in the pictures and stuff they fill in some stuff ..."
By: Anna Chlumsky - "I remember certain people in the audience laughing and I wanted to ask: 'What are ..."
By: Jim Dale - "The funny thing is, the music that I'm writing now is probably some of the ..."
By: Charlie Daniels - "If you tell the truth about how you're feeling, it becomes funny. "
By: Larry David - "What has been happening more lately - of course, I also put in my bio, ..."
By: Keith David - "People always ask me, 'Were you funny as a child?' Well, no, I was an ..."
By: Ellen DeGeneres - "I don't know. I think it's funny! I think it's funny! I go, what? It's ..."
By: Danny DeVito
- "Well, you know, I feel like it's about a lot of things. The reason that ..."
By: Danny DeVito - "What you do with it and things like that, but I basically chose this after ..."
By: Danny DeVito - "I always go for the Law & Order episode because they've all seen it and ..."
By: Caroline Dhavernas - "It's funny because I think it also goes very well with the show. It has ..."
By: Caroline Dhavernas - "We're kind of the comic relief of this movie because most of the stories are ..."
By: Caroline Dhavernas - "I rejected it many times because I thought it was just another commercial film. Sharon ..."
By: Leonardo DiCaprio - "I try to do as much of my own stunts and then my stunt performers ..."
By: Vin Diesel - "Sometimes people imitate you, and Anna Gasteyer exaggerates my character and personality, but it's funny. ..."
By: Celine Dion - "If people want to compete for leadership of a religious group, they can compete in ..."
By: Mary Douglas - "We have a rolling gag on the show. I once had to sing with Natalie ..."
By: Roma Downey - "And remember, it's also very funny, because side by side with grief lies joy. "
By: Fran Drescher - "My friend had a funny remark; he told me everybody has something - some people ..."
By: Karen Duffy - "Sometimes when reading Goethe I have the paralyzing suspicion that he is trying to be ..."
By: Guy Davenport - "I got him off my back by something that probably sent him straight to the ..."
By: David Eddings - "Humor has historically been tied to the mores of the day. The Yellow Kid was ..."
By: Will Eisner - "I just think the funny response would be that I think there needs to be ..."
By: Robert Englund - "At first you want to have a reputation as being talented or funny or...you know...special. ..."
By: Jon Favreau - "You figure they cheat at the ballpark, they'll cheat on the golf course, they'll cheat ..."
By: Bob Feller - "All you have in comedy, in general, is just going with your instincts. You can ..."
By: Will Ferrell - "I have only been funny about seventy four per cent of the time. Yes I ..."
By: Will Ferrell - "I'd love to become like Bill Murray, who was so funny on Saturday Night Live ..."
By: Will Ferrell - "James Caan told me at the end of filming 'Elf' that he had been waiting ..."
By: Will Ferrell - "The sweetness and the niceness of the guy. That continued to surprise because the project ..."
By: Albert Finney - "When I came back from school I was heavy. I wasn't obese, but I was ..."
By: Joely Fisher - "I was the kind nobody thought could make it. I had a funny Boston accent. ..."
By: Brendan Francis - "I was lucky enough to be in on the casting so I only chose funny ..."
By: Dawn French - "It's a funny thing that when a man hasn't anything on earth to worry about, ..."
By: Robert Frost - "You know, it's funny... when you're making money, people don't think you're playing jazz. Now ..."
By: Pete Fountain - "I really think that sex always looks kind of funny in a movie. "
By: William Friedkin - "Violence is not funny. "
By: William Friedkin - "I actually was class clown, but I don't know how that happened because I've never ..."
By: Janeane Garofalo - "Like almost everyone who uses e-mail, I receive a ton of spam every day. Much ..."
By: Bill Gates - "From there to here, and here to there, funny things are everywhere. "
By: Theodor Geisel
